I Have A Dream

Today, I wanted to talk about dreams. Not the "I hope to do this someday" kind of dreams, but the actual dreams you have while sleeping - specifically recurring dreams.
You see, I have a recurring dream. The circumstances of the dream change a bit, but the overall theme is always the same. It goes something like this...

I'm in college, getting myself ready for the day's classes. Except, I don't remember what classes I have that day, what time they're at, or where they're at. I am continually packing my backpack as I try to remember, but the packing is never done. I'm continually packing and re-packing my bag trying to get myself out the door. I also realize that I've hardly gone to any of my classes, and it's almost the end of the year. I stress about this as I pack and pack and pack. I usually wake up sometime about here, but sometimes I actually get to campus and wander around as I try to figure out which class I'm supposed to be at and where it is.

Or it goes something like this...

I'm getting ready to go on vacation. I have everything laid out to pack in my suitcase and start packing; but the packing is never done. Every time I think I'm done I'll look over and there's an entirely new pile that now needs to go in the suitcase. I start stressing that I'm going to miss my vacation as I pack and pack and pack.

Or this...

I'm a teenager, and I'm supposed to be going to my Confirmation classes, but I can never remember when or where they are, so I end up just driving around and don't go to class. I realize that Confirmation is coming up, but I haven't gone to any of the classes in ages and worry they won't let me get Confirmed.

Or this...

I'm in high school, and I only have a few minutes to get from one side of the school to the other in between classes. I'm at my locker switching books, but I can't find the book I need because I don't even remember where I'm supposed to be. I dig through my locker endlessly looking. If I do manage to find what I need before waking up, then I end up wandering around the school trying to remember what class I have and where it is.

I don't exactly remember when these dreams started, but I've probably been having them for a couple of years now. They don't happen every night, but obviously often enough that I recognize them. They're usually every couple weeks or once a month, something like that. It's funny, right?

Now, what do we think they mean? I've come up with a few theories.

The obvious one, is that I'm feeling very unorganized in my life. In all the dreams, I can't find what I'm looking for, or I'm not remembering where I'm supposed to be. Then, along those lines, my work is never done. The continuous packing and repacking. Even if I know where I'm going, I physically can't get myself there. Then, there's the stress that I'm missing important life stuff because I can't even get myself out the door.

That seems to be the most literal interpretation, but what if it's something bigger. Maybe, I don't know where I want to go in life. I have aspirations and dreams, but I don't know how to achieve them. I don't even know where to start.

I do feel unorganized a lot of the time, but I really don't feel like I'm all that stressed about it. I'll admit to sometimes using it as crutch though. "I want to do all these amazing things, but real life keeps getting in the way" - That sort of thing. The reality is, I'm scared to try. What if I fail? I know it's better to try and fail then never try at all; but it's a whole lot easier to just never attempt and blame it on just being too busy.

Whew, didn't mean to get so deep on you there.

What do you think my dreams me? Do you have any recurring dreams? What's the craziest dream you've ever had?

No comments:

Post a Comment